Dating someone better looking than you
When you're in your twenties that may sound like settling, but why should you judge the decisions you make in your forties from the viewpoint of who you were in your twenties?Of course, one reason we're compelled to size other people up and make comparisons is that we do the same to ourselves.It's not that you "settle" when you're older, but that you're looking at people from the vantage point of being in your experienced forties rather than your naïve twenties.You value different things in a person—remember, traits and characteristics do still matter if considered in the proper light—even if they're things you may not have imagined valuing when you were younger.We could say there is more than one right person for each of us, but each one is right in his or unique way, rendering each one "the right person." (I'm tryin' here.) Or we could say "an appropriate person" instead, but that sacrifices the time-honored "right/good" dichotomy (if occasionally a false one). :) First, the closing line of your post is explosive.Second, the problem of "looking around the corner" is that we know all the faults of what we have..action_button.action_button:active.action_button:hover.action_button:focus.action_button:hover.action_button:focus .count.action_button:hover .count.action_button:focus .count:before.action_button:hover .count:before.u-margin-top--lg.u-margin-left--sm.u-flex.u-flex-auto.u-flex-none.bullet.
Selector .selector_input_interaction .selector_input. Selector .selector_input_interaction .selector_spinner. Consider what "right" in this context really means: right for who you are at this time and place in your life.Your vision of the right person is going to look a lot different when you're in your early twenties and have not yet carved out your place in the world, than it does when you're in your forties with much of your life on more solid ground.But I want to focus on another reason: our impulse to measure the traits of potential partners and use them to make comparisons among them, which can lead us to worry that we've sold ourselves short and "settled" for less than we deserve. One says that there is just one person we're "meant" to be with, and the other says everybody's about the same—but some are just a little better than others.But there isn't a preordained "one" for each of us, and potential partners are not so similar that we can just compare them based on measurable attributes, like characters in a role-playing game.
We can judge a person in his or her entirety and still say things like "he isn't good enough" or "I can do better than her." My point is that we shouldn't evaluate potential partners on whether they're for us.